The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Guess what?! The best thing happened. Right now I am reading “Daring Greatly” (check out by free book clubs!) by Brene Brown and I had an “I needed this!” moment. What did I need? I needed to be called out. You might think I’m crazy for being hype about getting called out, but it needed to happen.
Let me tell you a little back story to explain why this suddenly stood out. I used to work in youth sports watching MANY teen and parent interactions. Amongst my colleagues, we would laugh and always use the phrase, “apples don’t fall far from the tree” as a way to make light when a teen and parent duo were being rather difficult. Were we being snotty and judgmental? Absolutely. I would want to follow up with a defense saying you don’t know what we would deal with, but the truth is it was not very noble of us. But here’s the thing, I’m now the tree. Meaning, I have an apple that is following my lead. You think I would have understood that by now because my daughter is over a year old, but it just hit me in a whole new way.
So how, might you ask, does this connect to simple living? I’ve been writing about themes connected to simple living for a few months now and I promise you it connects. The most important thing I see about simple living is not trying to live in the smallest home, bake bread, or read as many articles you can about decluttering. The key is narrowing in on your values and then living by them. Yes, I put that in italics for dramatic effects. Here's why...it will circle back around to what I learned from Brene…
We are so good at talking the talk, but what about walking the walk?
She said there is a big gap between our aspirational values (what we say we value) and our practiced values (what we actually do, how we treat others). We say one thing, but we do another. We have the best intentions! Yet, she said the gap starts here: “We can’t give people what we don’t have. Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.” Who we are matters.
This quote of hers connects to one of my favorite verses from the Bible that says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” -Matt 7:3. Instead of calling each other out (like my colleagues and I did with the apple tree joke), we need to be more humble to take a look inside. We need to manage our own tree. Want to move forward to peek inside your own heart with me? These are the questions I’m journaling through this week:
1) What’s a way my actions are not matching up with my words?
2) What’s a way I’ve been judgmental or harsh towards others and letting myself off the hook?
3) Is there a way I am allowing perfectionism to run the show, thinking that if I am perfect I will then be “enough”?
4) What part of me needs healing to really allow me to walk the talk?
5) How can I stay more accountable to these changes I need to make to let my words and actions meet? Is there a group I need to attend, a therapist to talk to, a family meeting that needs to be in place to get the two in alignment?
We are journeying into new territory. It can be painful to look beyond the plank in our eyes. Yet, I never knew being called out could be exciting. It sucks and is exciting all at the same time. In one way I’m saying, “crap, I really missed the boat!” And at the same time I see it as an invitation to evolve and be the best version of myself while here in the world. To me, that’s what the spiritual journey is about. To get a slap in the face and then see how it can teach us to let go of unhealthy parts of ourselves that breaks down the ability to connect in authentic ways. So, let’s be brave and allow our outdated parts of our being to be pruned away.
Happy rooting, everyone!