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Letting go of control

I feel like I need to start off with a friendly, “Hello” on this post because it’s been a little since I’ve posted. I have been starting to study for a major test, which has put my writing off just a bit. But I felt eager to write something I’m learning this week, which might some way encourage you as well.

If you’re familiar with my posts, you might have caught that I really enjoy goal-setting and making a plan to accomplish the goal. I actually led multiple breakout sessions for teens on goal-setting and visualization earlier this year. The first time I’ve heard of visualization was in my sports career, so I often use it when I talk with athletes. You want a higher likelihood of having a killer serve in volleyball? Visualize it. I first learned this from our sports psychologist in college. For many years I used that technique through athletics, but in the past year or so I’ve started applying it to other aspects of my life.

But before I start teaching you about visualization, this post isn’t actually about that. I want to circle around to my comment at the very beginning where I said I’m all about goal-setting and planning…almost too much. That’s where I want to land with this post. I’ve been taught to work hard for whatever I want. Yet, because I’ve had what has been a great teaching to live by, I fully confess I get completely carried away. I can get a bit too into the goal and trying to control each step of the way. Please tell me you can relate? I know we are to co-create with God to live a life of purpose and fulfillment, but I often try to reach over and snatch the reigns. It’s not my finest look, no.

Listen to something I saw written by Marshawn Evans Daniels in her devotional 100 Days of Believing Bigger. She said, “it can be difficult to be still and wait to see how God’s plan is going to unfold…there are some breakthroughs that can only transpire with the move of God’s hand. We can’t force it; we can only flow in it.”

I love those last words. We can only flow in it. A picture of surfing comes to mind. In surfing you have to do your part to catch the wave, but then there’s a point when you really let the wave take over. Timing is key in surfing. Once you catch the wave, it’s good to keep your eyes forward and stay balanced. Those are all things we need when working for something big in our lives. Do some work, but also let go enough so we are in the right disposition to receive. When we are tense, over-controlling, and micro-managing it’s hard to stay balanced enough to look forward to where God is trying to take us.

I thought if there are any others out there trying to overwork something into your life I’d write out some affirmations to soak in over the next few days. Read these over and take any of these reminders with you throughout your day...

I have done my part, now I need to open my hands to release to God.

My job is to be the person I need to be to receive this good gift. I am already that person, I just need to allow myself to see I’m already there.

God is faithful and wants good things for his children.

I can believe the truth of who I am: radiant, loved, and worthy of good things.

I can rest in the assurance that God is working on my behalf.

I don’t need to force anything because I am in the flow.

And here are a few other reminders…things I tell myself and people I work with:

· Keep your goal in mind, but keep living life

· We don’t ALWAYS have to be positive, (nor can we be) but if we believe something can happen, it’s more likely to happen

· Have fun. Reducing stress helps create space to welcome in good things

· Take care of yourself. As therapists, we do a bio, psycho, social inventory with clients. So, for yourself, be sure you’re healthy, eating good foods, up to date on all your health appointments, and joining with positive support networks.

Ok, friends, that’s all. I pray that on your journey to goodness in your life you can sense God beside you, reassuring you that all you can do is your part. The rest is up to life to bring things into being. Happy rooting, everyone!

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